Whatever souls are made of, his and mine are the same (Emily Bronte)
by once anon a time
Summary: A one short that was supposed to be short. AU - Modern setting. Clarke and Bellamy and the struggles of their relationship. Happy ending I promise!


_Clarke threw her head back and let the wind whip her veil back behind her as Bellamy pushed the pedal the floor and the car shot forward. Appraising his profile she couldn't decide if his grin was due to their impromptu wedding or the fact she let him drive her Ferrari 458 for the first time. She was hoping it was the former._

 _She couldn't help letting the grin spread to her as well as she looked away from him and out across the ocean road. Bellamy rested his hand on hers and glanced at her real concern in his eyes._

" _Are you okay?"_

 _Clarke could only manage a quick nod as tears welled in her eyes._

" _Do you regret it?"_

 _His voice was quiet and vulnerable and her heart ached that he could ever think that. She squeezed his hand._

" _Not one bit. Frankly I would have been happy with any wedding so long as it was to you. I'm glad everyone could be there though at such short notice."_

" _But not your mother?"_

" _No, well at least she didn't try and object?"_

" _Always a positive."_

 _She laughed._

" _Did I tell you she tried to pay me off?"_

" _What?"_

 _Bellamy nodded in earnest._

" _When we first got together though. She offered me a lot of money to leave you."_

" _Why didn't you?"_

 _Bellamy sighed scratching his chin._

" _Because you're priceless."_

" _Right answer Blake!"_

" _Always, Mrs Blake."_

 _He pulled her hand to his lips and pressed them into her palm._

 _He kept hold of her hand as they drove in amicable silence for an hour of so more before finally coming to a stop outside a solitary house on a cliff a sign for a bed and breakfast outside. Bellamy placed a guiding hand on Clarke's exposed back shepherding her forwards and into the lobby._

 _The hostess took in their attire and smiled, there was nothing she loved more than newlyweds and they got their fair share at this romantically rustic and remote establishment. They signed in quickly and were offered a drink on the deck to watch the sunset whilst their bags were taken to their room. Most the warmth had left the air but before Clarke had begun to feel the chill Bellamy wrapped his suit jacket over his shoulders. They sat side by side on an old porch swing and Clarke rested her head on Bellamy's shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her pulling her closer and squeezing her tight._

" _Did you ever think we'd get this far?"_

" _Not when we first met." Bellamy smirked "But surprisingly quickly, yes, I did."_

 _Clarke continued to gaze out to the horizon where the fiery orange sun flirted with the inky blue ocean and her fingers itched to paint it, to capture its beauty forever._

" _Have you ever seen something quite so beautiful?" She barely whispered the words but Bellamy replied nonetheless._

" _No, I can't say I have nor I doubt I ever will."_

 _Clarke looked up at her husband, never one to agree with her, to see him not staring at the ocean as she had been but gazing down at her. She smiled and leaned up to catch his lips in a tender kiss. She could get used to this._

Of course things were never that easy. Five years later they were living in a large house in a nice suburb on the outskirts of the city. Clarke had finished medical school and had completed her internship at a prestigious surgical unit. She was now in her second year of residency and under more pressure than ever to succeed. Bellamy had recently moved from teaching high school to being a college professor and was struggling with the step up. They both worked incredibly hard and were by nature very ambitious. They wanted the world and neither of them wanted anyone to give it to them. Clarke refused any overt attempt by her mother to influence her career even if she accepted that people were probably never going to be able to separate her from her mother; the chief of medicine.

Perhaps it was because she didn't use her married name professionally. She had already started her job when they got married and she had reasoned that she didn't want to confuse people with the change. Bellamy had never understood, at home and everywhere else she was Mrs Blake. He even pointed out that surely it would help with differentiating her from her mother. But she didn't relent. She simply sighed, rolled her eyes and walked away.

Octavia worked in the city as a martial arts instructor and lived with her bar owning boyfriend Lincoln. They were coming meeting for lunch and for once both Clarke and Bellamy had a day off. Bellamy had driven them into the city early and Clarke had checked her phone the whole way there. It was a nice restaurant they were going to so Clarke had dressed up in one of her business dresses which she knew Bellamy thought made her look uptight. So what if it was grey, it was a stylish colour and she couldn't wear silly little things her whole life. She had to grow up.

She was incredibly tired, as always and abnormally unsettled. She had been feeling a bit off for months now but this feeling in the pit of her stomach had grown into something foreboding. She had barely seen him for weeks. They were like the proverbial ships that crossed in the night. When she was early and had gone to bed he always had to be up late grading or planning and when he had time off she was invariably called in for surgery. Looking across at her husband she realised she had no idea what was going on inside his head. They used to be almost telepathic in their ability to read each other but now he was closed off and unreadable. When he became a closed book she didn't know, or maybe she had forgotten how to read him. Either way a pain ached in her chest as she felt so alone. She shivered slightly trying to keep the tears from her eyes. He didn't offer her his jacket. He didn't even notice.

"Octavia!" She stood and forced the best smile she could before embracing her sister in law. She kissed Lincoln's cheek before sitting and observing Bellamy shake Lincoln's hand amicably. It had taken him a long time, and a lot of persuasion from Clarke, to accept him but it became abundantly clear that he wasn't going anywhere and he worshipped Octavia.

"So how are things, brother, you got that tenure yet?"

"Knew you'd get right to the point, O. It came through last week."

Octavia squealed and leant over to hug him again. Clarke could only watch the genuine light come to his face as he embraced his sister. Clarke couldn't help the sinking feeling taking hold of her as a bitter voice in her head told her it was no wonder he hadn't told her, _she hadn't been there._ But it still hurt. Was he preparing to leave her, waiting until he had the job security to maintain himself without her families money? She couldn't bare the idea of losing him. No matter how bad things were he was it for her.

"So when you two going to pop out a niece of nephew for me then?"

Bellamy didn't even look at Clarke when he answered with a definite edge to his voice.

"We're waiting for Clarke to finish her residency."

Clarke just nodded. She didn't want to cause a scene in front of Octavia when really inside she was kicking and screaming and wailing that it was what they agreed to.

They filled the rest of the meal with idle chatter and Clarke managed to join in and not lose her composure. She didn't yell at anyone which was quite a feat. She felt so tightly wound that she was bound to explode if she didn't say something soon. As they were leaving the restaurant, putting their coats on and walking out the door Bellamy not even touching her muttered

"You could have at least pretended to be happy for me."

"What?!" This was it; she could feel the dam about to give way.

"When I told you about my tenure..."  
"You mean the tenure I didn't know you were up for or the tenure which you got last week and didn't even tell me? That tenure?"

Clarke whirled round to stare at him her eyes blazing with anger, his cold as steel.

"You were busy Clarke!"

"You should still have told me, for god's sake Bellamy we're supposed to be married and I have to find out something as important as this at a group lunch!"

"What do you want me do Clarke, you're never home."  
"Don't put this all on me. You're not there either and when you are you're distracted by marking or planning so don't act like this is all my fault."

"I'm fed up of waiting Clarke, first it was waiting for you to graduate, then med school, then internship now residency. It's like I'm always waiting for you to be fully committed."

"Fully committed? I married your stupid ass didn't I? What more do you want?"

"You know what I want."

"That's not fair Bellamy, it'd be easy for you to take a year out of your job and just go back in at the same place, you know I can't do that, as soon as I leave my career is over!"

"No it's not, that's complete bullshit, plenty of doctors go back to work after having children."

"I don't want my children to be raised like that. I was raised like that and I hated it! You know this."

He turned away from her, resigned, pushing a hand through his hair.

"I just don't know if I can live with it anymore."

Clarke felt like the floor had fallen out from underneath her and she was falling away from him.

"You hate your job yet you spend more time there than you ever do with me. You're still trying to prove yourself to your mother and I can't help feeling that you're trying to make it up to her after marrying me."

Clarke couldn't move, she couldn't speak, she could barely breath. She had one hand clamped over her mouth and the other over her stomach. She felt sick.

Without even looking back he began to walk away and she just stood there and watch tears streaming down her face.

She couldn't follow him, she just couldn't. She didn't want to watch him pack his things or leave his ring behind. She couldn't bare to admit that they had failed.

So she stood there for quite sometime before gathering the strength to move. She didn't quite figure where she was walking to until she reached the door of her best friend. She rang the buzzer insistently until a groggy response came over the intercom and she was buzzed up.

"What the fuck happened to you? You're a mess!"

Never one to hold back you could always rely on Raven to be frank.

"I think Bellamy just left me."

Clarke followed her declaration with a hiccup and a fresh burst of tears allowing a shocked Raven to drag her in to her apartment and deposit her on the couch.

"What the hell happened?"

"We had an argument after lunch with Octavia and he ended it. Just like that."

"What did you argue about?"  
"What do we always argue about?"

Raven nodded. She put arm around Clarke and stroked her hair as Clarke sobbed into her shoulder.

"I've got to be honest Clarke I kind of understand where Bellamy is coming from."

Clarke flinched, pulling back from Raven's grasp and staring back at her friend her eyes stung with betrayal.

"How can you say that?"

"Come on Clarke, all you do is moan about that job but you work yourself into the ground and you never have time to just be. It seems like you're just doing it for your mother."

"You too? God, is it that hard to believe that I like what I do... don't answer that. My mum has only ever wanted what was best for me and no she never thought Bellamy was that guy but I didn't care. I'm a good doctor and I get to save people's lives and that is really rewarding. So what if it pleases my mother as well, I'm passed the rebellious phase."

"At the end of the day it's your life Clarke and no one can tell you what you want.."

"No you're right, they can't!'

And with that she stood up and stormed out of Raven's apartment and down onto the street. Raven didn't follow. She had been an emotional wreck when she had gone to see Raven and now she was just angry. She needed to speak with someone who would understand. And there was probably only one person for that job.

Her mother, for once, had been at home when she had called so was waiting for her when Clarke pulled up in a taxi.

"Mum, do you think I work too much?"

Never a family for pleasantries or the warmth of greeting Clarke jumped straight into the interrogations.

"No honey, you're a resident the hours are pretty hectic but it'll slow down when you make attending."

She barely even raised her head from the medical journal she was reading but her step-father Marcus Kane looked up from the cup of coffee he was nursing.

"Why the sudden question Clarke?"

"I think Bellamy and I might have just broken up."

"What?" They both responded in union though their tones could not have been more different. She detected a distinctly jubilant edge to her mother's voice.

"We had a massive argument about work and is had seemed like we were drifting apart for a while and he ended things."

"Just like that?" Marcus asked in almost disbelief. She knew Marcus had an oddly close relationship with Bellamy even if neither of them really directly acknowledged it. She thought Marcus may just be the father figure Bellamy had always wanted. Jake, of course, would have relished being a father to Bellamy if only he was still with them.

"Yeah, just like that."

"Oh honey, I'm sorry, I know how much you loved that boy, but maybe this is for the best."

"Mum please, I know you're not his biggest fan but this is the end of my marriage we're talking about could you be less happy please."

Her mother pulled back and replied with a curt nod.

"I always told you that boy was wrong for you and that it would all end in tears. I'm not going to pretend to be heartbroken when you know I always thought your marriage was a mistake of youthful folly. You should have listened to me."

Clarke just stared at her mother. She had expected her to be pleased but not quite so sanctimonious. She was still affronted on Bellamy's behalf and she felt the anger rise in her again.

"Now girls..." Marcus warned as if he could sense the murderous rage rising in Clarke.

"I think you need to talk to him Clarke."

He was right of course but Clarke couldn't face it. She couldn't face seeing the defeated look in his eyes. She couldn't face returning to suitcases packed by the door or worse an empty house.

She was so trapped in her thoughts she didn't even realise she had made it to Octavia's apartment. She sucked in a deep breath before knocking loudly on the door. It had barely been opened before she thew herself into Octavia's arms sobbing her eyes out. Lincoln was clearly alarmed but stayed by his girlfriend's side as she cradled Clarke gently rocking her and making quiet soothing noises.

"What's wrong, what happened?"

Clarke sat down with a heavy heart. If she had expected either of her last two visits to help her unravel the tangled mess of feelings she had neither had helped and she didn't foresee Octavia being on her side.

"I think Bellamy is leaving me."

"What?! Are you crazy?"

Clarke shook her head taking a deep breath.

"We had a massive argument, one that's been brewing for ages and he left, he just walked away."

"Did he give you an ultimatum?"

Clarke didn't miss the knowing look between Octavia and Lincoln as she shook her head again.

"He just said he couldn't live like this anymore and left."

She paused momentarily before continuing.

"He's talked to you about it hasn't he?"

Octavia paused and Clarke knew that meant yes. She swallowed and looked down at her hands clasped in her lap.

"Am I such a bad person for wanting to please everybody?"

"No, sweetie, but sometimes you can't and you have to choose."

"I don't understand why it's always a choice between everything in my life and Bellamy. Why is he always on the other side of that choice? It's like fate is against us."

"Is it?"

"Why can't things be simple, why can't I be a good doctor and still get to keep Bellamy?"

"I don't think it's just the case of Bellamy forcing you to choose not to be a doctor."

Clarke huffed slightly, crossing her arms.

"He wants you to be happy, Clarke. He wants to be happy with you but all he sees it you stressed and tired and crochety and that's if he even sees you at all. Then all you do is moan about work and take it out on him. Can you blame him that he doesn't think it's the best thing for you?"

Clarke is still silent.

"He's not innocent in this."

Clarke hadn't been expecting Lincoln to pitch in and obviously neither had Octavia.

"I know he's your brother O and it's natural for you to be on his side but you've got to see it from Clarke's point of view as well. She's given up a lot to be with him including sabotaging her relationship with her mother. They didn't speak for two years O. It's not unreasonable for her to feel aggrieved at always having to give something up."

"But it's not giving something up for him. He doesn't want her to quit being a doctor so he'll stay because she'll only end up resenting him and that'll make things worse. No, he wants her to realise that she doesn't want to be a doctor. That she's unhappy and her mother putting all these expectations on her all over again is just like last time. Only this time it can't be solved by them eloping!"

"But he hasn't talked to her about it, clearly. He's just made up his mind and he's pushing her away. You know what he's like and right now he's building his walls and all that's going to happen is that he'll shut her out."

"Communication it the key to a relationship, I know, I know."

"Clarke?"

Lincoln looked at her.

"If you weren't with Bellamy, and you're mother had no say, would you still be a doctor?"

"No."

She didn't even pause. The speed of her response surprised even her. Octavia raised an eyebrow and Lincoln chuckled.

"Shall I drive you?"

"Yes please!"

Filled with a new sense of purpose she leapt up and accompanied by Octavia and Lincoln they drove across town to their suburban palace. She didn't even like it. It was too cold and empty and too much like her mother's house.

She was nervous as she reached the door but Octavia and Lincoln urged her on from the car. She pushed open the door and immediately heard raised voices coming from the back deck.

She slid open the glass doors and took in her husband stood back to her his arms crossed across his chest facing off against a surprised Miller who had already noticed her.

"I'm going to leave you two to it."

Miller hastily made his exit as Bellamy turned round to face her. Her heart was racing and she could hear the thundering in her ears.

"I thought you might've left."

"I've thought about it."

"Please don't. We can fix this, I want to fix this."

Bellamy smiled tightly so Clarke continued.

"I vowed that I would stick with you for better or worse..."

"Wow Clarke, bringing up the vows, that's low..."

"Just listen to me!"

Bellamy took a step back as Clarke let her anger break through for a moment. Octavia and Lincoln had helped straighten out her mess of emotions but that didn't make putting them into words any easier.

"I fully accept you, for better or for worse but I didn't quite count on accepting myself quite the same. And I know I've been on the worse side recently. But we need to talk about it, you need to talk to me and not shut me out."

"What can I say Clarke. I don't want to give you an ultimatum. I don't want to be that guy."

"Then don't. Ask me if I'm happy?"

"Are you happy?"

"No."

Bellamy looked hurt and confused and Clarke couldn't help reaching out and resting her hand on his forearm.

"Ask me when I am most happy?"

"When are you most happy Clarke?"  
'When I'm with you. And that's why I always choose you. When my mum tells me to dump you, when she says I can't marry you and she'll cut me and future children off, when she says I should sign a prenup and when she says I can still get an annulment if I accuse you of forcing me or when she gives me a list of divorce attorneys when we have one little fight. I always choose you."

"I didn't know any of that."  
"I didn't tell you. I didn't want to hurt you."

"But I need to know what's going on with you Clarke. I should be part of this sort of stuff."  
"I need to know what's going on with you too Bellamy."

Clarke stepped forward and relaxed the instant Bellamy wrapped her in his arms. She felt safe here. Like nothing could ever be quite that bad as long as she had him. They stood there for hours before going inside and going to bed. They probably had more to say but it was enough for now to know that they were still together.

Clarke was excited to come home from work on time the very next day. She was even more excited when she saw his car in the drive.

"Guess what?" She practically yelled as she ran through the door finding her husband grading papers on their living room couch.

"I don't know, what?"

Bellamy pulled the glasses off his nose and stood up to greet his wife.

"I quit my job today!"

She jumped into his arms and he couldn't help whirl her round infected by her cheerfulness. Upon putting her down he stroked her hair behind her ear and looked at her in earnest. She never failed to marvel at how his stare could be so revealing she felt naked under his gaze.

"Did you do this just for me?"

"No I did it for me and for you and for us! I haven't felt so light in ages. I'm glad to be free of it, of the pressure, the stress, the politics! I don't love it. But I do love you."

He smiled her favourite smile of his. The one of pure innocent joy that was involuntary and always followed by a kiss.

"What are you going to do?"

"Art, I think, or I don't know, something. But we'll be okay because I still have my father's money and even if my mother cuts me off you can support me but... we might have to sell this place."

"Gladly!"

She smacked him playfully on the chest.

"We'll find somewhere smaller and closer to the city. I still want a yard though so we can get a puppy."  
"Just a puppy?"

"Well, we could get chickens as well?"

"And..."

"Well obviously any house we have would have to be full of screaming, stubborn, freckled little brats."

"Our little brats."

"Better get you to work then Blake, we're not getting any younger."  
"As you wish Mrs Blake."

He swept her up bridal style and whisked her upstairs to their bedroom. Afterwards as she lay naked body pressed against her husband limbs entwined and head rested on his chest she couldn't imagine feeling anymore content. He stroked her hair and hummed softly.

"You sure you don't regret any of it?"  
"Never." She placed a kiss on his chest and looked up to him.

"You ever seen something quite so beautiful?"

"No, I can't say I have nor I doubt I ever will."

Bellamy chuckled at her parroting the line he had used on her all those years ago. And he would say it was true but the for the first time they both laid eyes on their beautiful daughter Persephone Blake.


End file.
